Romantic Love and What You Don’t Know About Them.

I fear that my future home will be full of books that I may never use. I currently have 7 writing journals, 5 of which are for performative purposes. I’m the type of person that thinks things like, “Oh, look at me! I love to write! writing is my outlet! yada yada yada.” I’m such a fraud lmao. Anyway, I’m not here to berate myself. Instead, I want to write about romantic love and what I think you don’t know about them.

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When I was titling this post, I had a brief moment of terror where I felt like the author of an agony aunt blog. No disrespect to AABs, I truly think the fate of the universe rests in your dexterous hands because of the wonderful work that you do. I just don’t think I qualify for any of it. Therefore, beloveds. Don’t for a second think I’m here to tell you what to do or not to do in your relationships because first off, I’m the wrong person for that job. I’m only here to air (look at that unrivalled wordplay 🔥) my thoughts on what I think and don’t think about romantic relationships in general.

That being said, here we go.

In my experience, I have found romantic love to be the most thrilling, titillating type of love that exists; and I would like to state matter-of-factly that I find it very ridiculous in its inability to stay calm. It burns and rages through your entire body and soul as if, if it doesn’t establish that level of ambition; it would not be recognisable and it could probably be mistaken for the other love types. I get that you want to exert dominance, but why are you all over the place though? 💁🏾‍♀️

Anyway, I have also found that as vehemently as it burns, as intensely as it consumes the parties involved; and as amazing as the feelings it subjects them to are, romantic love will quench in that same intensity if anything as much as threatens its existence. It can bring an immeasurable amount of torture to the people it once brought comfort to and that’s putting it mildly.

Romantic love is super wild and often refuses to be tamed. It is for this wildness that I genuinely think that; it isn’t always enough to sail the boat of a relationship (frankly, I don’t know how I could have put that sentence better, so indulge me 🙏🏾). This is why I think that romantic love needs to evolve into so much more than simply itself in order to be able to sustain you, your partner and your beautiful ship. Although, I also think that doesn’t simply happen on its own accord. The parties involved have to double down on building stronger sails and commit to its periodic maintenance. Then and only then will its evolution happen.

All these ship/boat references and you would think I own one (I once paddled a canoe on my own before though so maybe that counts for expertise on the subject?). I agree that there’s really no manual to these things. Also, most of what we know about romantic love is often rooted in the films we have watched; the kinds of romantic relationships we see around us; and whether we are aware or not, subconsciously we give in to these lofty ideas about what our love life should be or not be; based on what we’ve imbibed from our surroundings. I am laughing in my head as I type this because I know someone out there reading this is currently saying, “you keep saying ‘we’, you speak French now?” Lmao, rude! but okay, maybe I am projecting a little.

I started writing this because I felt the need to write about romantic love in a way that we don’t often talk about; regarding the way we perceive its absoluteness. I think it’s great, I just don’t think it’s always enough. In final words, I hope that as you continue to enjoy your relationship with your partner (Lagos and London people, kindly read as partners thank you very much), you find clarity on what works and; that together, you are able to build something beautiful and longlasting. To those who are looking for love, I hope that it finds you (or you find it) and I hope that it stays for everyone. Thank you for coming to my Blog talk, and I’ll see you soon again. Seriously, look at me filling my quota for this month already! Shout outs to me fr fr. 💛

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Abbreviations I’ve used a lot in this post:

fr – for real.

If you don’t know what ‘lmao’ means, I’m not responsible for you. 💛