I wanted to write about endings. This purely had to do with me reading the room and trying to fit in a spot. Then I spoke to Tee and she said, why don’t you write about beginnings instead? I was like, “ma’am. what? it’s literally the end of the year.” One thing she said that eventually made sense to me was the fact that it may not seem like it at all but this supposed end is also a beginning for many others.
Ever since this month trickled down to its end, I have focused a lot on tieing up many of the things I’ve considered to have loose ends, and writing this post was one of them. When this year started, I made a commitment to write at least one post each month. This would be my twelfth post and because I wanted it to mark something; I was doing everything to make it count. However, what I didn’t realise I was also doing was focusing all my energy on reaching that summit of ‘wow, I really wrote 12 posts’, and not the process of planning for the longevity to write beyond this year’s commitment.
This made me realize how we often fall into this trap of fixating solely on a long-term goal and not the paths or processes that take us there. Upon realizing this for myself, I wanted to not write this post at all. I wanted to make a statement that would mean leaving this particular end untied. Which would potentially spell that I am not finished here. That loose end would symbolize that I am carrying over work to do in the new year. And that would be okay.
In the end, I made the choice to write the post anyway. Particularly, to share my thoughts and lessons I have learnt from this internal battle of reconciliation within myself, with you. More importantly, I wanted to write this to say thank you for being an indelible part of this year. Thank you for sticking around and for diligently reading my sometimes, unfiltered thoughts. I am yet to figure out what the year holds in terms of my next writing adventure. But hey, I hope you stay with me.
Happy holidays to you and yours. 🥂