They often say whenever you wake up is your morning; and even though this saying doesn’t necessarily apply to me literally because I’ve really been up for the longest time. But I looovveee pretending to be asleep, Lol. When I was little, around the time I must have been six or seven years old, I would pretend to be asleep even when I often was the first one to wake up (probably because I used to sleep daily by 6 pm?). This was because I never wanted to go on errands. It could be an errand as little as, “bring that bowl on the table for me”; and I wouldn’t budge because I just didn’t want to be useful. It’s truly a miracle (also my mother’s prayers) that I have grown up to be a very useful individual for my own life; and the lives of the people around me.
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Anyway, I have digressed. The year started approximately 24 days ago but for some reason (that I can’t quite put a finger on 🤔), I couldn’t muster the strength to come on here to put anything out. During last year’s appraisal, I told Tee that I wanted to publish at least 12 posts on the blog this year. Let’s be honest, we don’t know if I’ll be able to publish or even write that much; and given my history, I think it’s a fair place to place (English is wild) my ambition. My calculation is, if I make at least one post per month for each month of the year, I would reach my goal; and most likely (this is debatable) exceed it 🚀.
Someone once said to me (I was watching them on TV, they don’t know me), “don’t you wish you knew you were living in the good old days before you actually left them?” and it got me thinking about how many good old days I have had but are now in the past. That line was actually said by Andy Bernard from The Office but I know the guys that get it already got it ☺.
I remember that some of those days which I now consider to be “the good old days”, I couldn’t wait to get out of them at the time. Because of course, I used to think there had to be better than this. “What is this mess?”, I would continually say to myself. LOL. Honestly, I sometimes feel like my best days were in the past because of how much I tend to miss; and wish I could revisit them. Alas, the past remains only a place you can reach in your memories, while they still serve you.
So I started thinking if I miss the old days this much, does that mean there’s really no upside to this life thing? Would I keep chasing the past, never to catch it? And if my present days will inevitably be the past, does this mean I should make a voluntary effort to be in it before I lose my grasp on it too? Because the blatant truth is that I no longer have any control over the past; my future largely depends on how I utilize my control in the present.
Is the present then where I need to be? Can “Me” and “Live in the moment” coexist in the same sentence? Because I’m a natural past-yearner. I long for the past, this is my thing. This one will be hard. But that’s exactly what you and I need to do if we are in similar shoes. Because truly, in the present is where we can be all that we want to be. The present is indeed the gift that we have now. Thank you for coming to my Blog talk, and I’ll see you soon again hopefully. ✌
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