Please call me Jadesola,
For that is what she named me on my arrival,
Maybe if I hear you call,
I would be able to pretend as if she hasn’t gone.
Maami.
I call you many times,
Expecting your usual, “Ehnn. Oko mi.”,
Alas, I am to hear your voice no more,
I am to feel the void of your absence forever more.
Living each day without you is pain,
Eternal pain that I would bear till the end of my days,
For I didn’t see it coming,
Rárá o.
You didn’t even act like you were dying.
I have been asking God why it had to be soon,
Why hadn’t He waited till I got tired of you?,
But then I realised “tired of you” was never going to be true,
I would never have gotten enough of you.
I dread my birthday this year,
For it’s going to be exactly 7 days posthumous yours,
Who would call me in the morn?,
And say “Èmí e á shey òpo e, Oko mi”?.
Your demise is too much to handle,
I swear. It’s too much to take in,
People say I would be fine,
It’s over a month and I’m far from fine.
I know eventually I would be fine,
But you’ll forever be in my heart.
Sometimes I feel you’re not even dead,
Often times, I converse with you in my head,
For I know your reply to every word that I would say,
I am like you like that in many ways.
Maybe you’re not dead,
Maybe you merely changed your state,
Perhaps, I’m a proof that you live on,
For, as long as I breathe. You live on.
Rest well, grams,
But don’t ever leave us,
I love you today and tomorrow,
Forever and always.
To every one that has lost a light.
We’ll be fine.