We love the idea of a secret enemy so bad! A “hater” lurking in our midst oouu 🔥. I think because it gives us a certain dramatic flair, a sense of self-importance that can feel oddly validating, like we’re martyrs in this wicked lonely world lol. And so we love to talk about friends who secretly don’t like us but what about the friends who openly dislike us? Isn’t it convenient that we find ways to circumvent this possibility more often than not? It is, I will admit, a true rarity because in what reality are you genuinely friends with someone who hates your guts, really? It seems almost unheard of to have a “friend” so willing to lay their contempt bare.
But they exist and I am choosing to speak on this because I’ve lived it. I know what it’s like to navigate a friendship with someone who, despite the label, openly shows their disdain. Like they’re not even hiding it under backhanded compliments or anything shady like that, that is for suckers. They’re straight up letting you know your place and that it isn’t in their precious heart where they keep everyone else that they like. They don’t pretend to care because they simply don’t and can’t even be asked to do it if they could try. You’re friends with them but it’s not really that deep is it? Because at least they have other friends that you clearly see them being mindful about their actions towards them. You are still friends though or at least that’s what I told myself because it’s undeniable when we hang out, they’re nice to me but outside of that, it’s just a bunch of mean things after another that I wouldn’t even dream of doing to them.
The surprising truth is, sometimes these “friends” aren’t even fully aware of their animosity. It’s their behavior, their mannerisms, their actions towards you that speaks for them. Yet, you’re there, telling yourself “friendship is sacred,” desperately clinging to a bond that doesn’t exist while dismissing your gut feelings. You’re convinced it’s all just in your head, a figment of your overthinking.
Newsflash: It’s not. That lack of consideration, their dismissiveness, and in my case, their open contempt of others that do the exact things I do, aren’t the hallmarks of genuine friendships. It’s very important to open your eyes and see the situation for what it truly is. At least that’s what I did. I must state though that recognizing these dynamics isn’t about creating drama at all. It’s about protecting your peace and understanding the true nature of your relationships. Because real friendship, the kind that nurtures and uplifts, simply doesn’t feel like constantly questioning your worth in someone else’s presence. It feels like belonging, despite your individual differences. It feels like acceptance, it feels like respect.
Follow the channel.