In My Head: Episode One but not really

People (please read as men) try to buy a duplex in your head just so they can live there rent free and be useless but mercy said no. Who mercy is, I don’t know but it just felt like a good ending statement to this observation I’ve made about men. A while back, this person texted me with one silly pick up line that made me cheese for like 3 minutes. In hindsight, it was a dead line but sometimes the littlest things impress me and I don’t even know why considering I’m actually such a very strict babe (if I do say so myself?) I don’t remember what the text was which is evidential that it wasn’t even that great because if it was, my brain would have been replaying that shit every other two weeks just for the plot. I’d have even flipped it so I could use it to move to some other people on my own but you get the gist, it wasn’t groundbreaking or anything. Anyway, where am I going with all this information? I’d admit that the message, albeit now inconsequential, (just allow me to keep shitting on it please, how else will it become obvious that I’m writing this from a place of pain?) piqued my attention and it sort of set the ball rolling for what ended up to be the most boring encounter of my life. First of all, he probably stole that line. Why am I even saying probably, he definitely stole it because the mannerisms that he ended up exhibiting did not in any way reflect the energy that the first message promised. You know those car engines that start off with a big promising rev and you think, oh this is gonna be one jolly good ride? When I tell you the stupid car started sputtering after 10 minutes? What am I even saying, which foolish 10 minutes, it was maybe after 3 minutes or thereabout. I was disappointed. In fact, I was annoyed. I think because I can be very sapiosexual although I don’t really like to describe myself as such because it’s box-y, as in it confines you in a box and gives the impression that you can’t be anything else other than that and I don’t fully buy into that because I’m a multifaceted woman that dabble in many things but anyway because I’m easily excited by intelligence, I have an unreasonably (is it though?) high expectation for conversations. I’m constantly in awe of people that can successfully tow the treacherous line of banter that’s brave yet respectful. So essentially, I have very high standards for people especially ones that parade themselves as a prospect. It’s the least you can do, you know? Back to the “promise and fail” brethren, to be fair he technically didn’t promise me anything. I just went ahead and assumed he was promising which is something I’m working on but seriously does God forbid a girl to have expectations?? After a couple more interactions, I knew it was dead-shortly-after-arrival. There was no way in the world I was going to fake interest just to keep reeling rubbish in, I’m sorry. I’m not calling a cow my big brother just because I want to eat meat, I’m so sorry. The next day, I simply told him I could not continue to entertain such uselessness and he was such a champ about it. I think maybe he was self aware enough to know he was not really giving anything? I don’t know, that’s between him and his God. As for me, I dipped and I did the courteous thing which was to inform him that I was dipping as opposed to just doing a quick disappearing act (my mama ain’t raised no coward). I don’t really know the point of this story but I needed to get it off my chest and to say if you’re one of these types of people, you need to change your ways. When is it ever cool to be someone that doesn’t even try?? Kmt.

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