Boeing 737-900. It’s the name of the plane I board. My mind goes to my ex, Dan. He would know what the numbers mean. He always had a thing for planes, more so than he ever did for me. I fasten my belt, the flimsy thing. I imagine if we crashed and thought about what I would do. I decide I will be laughing my head off just as all hell breaks loose. If the plane was going out with a bang, then so was I. I say a quick prayer to God for safe landing. I’m in the middle seat, sandwiched between two men. I don’t flinch even though I’ve never sat next to men I didn’t know before for longer than necessary. The flight is three hours long. I take out my old iPod. I’d charged it the night before, but the battery still came up short. I ignore the flashing red light and plug my ears. A song starts to play, and I relax into my chair. The man on my right began to doze off, but soon wakes up again before we take off. He starts to read on a Kindle that managed to appear from thin air. I glance at him often. He reminds me of the double slit experiment. A photon, when it’s being observed. He keeps moving from time to time. I don’t talk to him even though I want to. I’m learning to wait to be approached.
The plane takes off, and we’re in the air. I watch as we leave the tiny form of Stansted behind. Before long, the hostess announces that we could get up if we wanted to and that the refreshment cart will be pushed around shortly. Soon, the cart came, and I remember the snack I put in my hand luggage. It’s in the top compartment above me, but I don’t want to get up. Partly because of the other man to the left of whom I’m sandwiched between. I don’t want him to look at my bum. Not that I find him creepy. I just imagine if I were him, I would be forced to cop a look too. I remain in my seat. Soon, he starts to watch a movie. I sneak a peek. It’s Bollywood. He doesn’t look Indian. I look like a Rastafari, but I am not Jamaican, so who am I to judge a book by its cover? The cart lady comes. For a minute, I felt like Ronald Weasley when he was on the Hogwarts Express and had no money. I have money, though. I just don’t want to spend it on horrible plane food. I close my eyes and pretend not to see her. My tummy growled. It needed food. A distraction would help. I decide to watch the clouds instead. It is beautiful. The sun is setting, and the sky looks pristine. I take a mental snapshot for later. I would try to recreate what I’ve seen in the app on my iPad.
We hit turbulence. I immediately visualise how this could be the end. What is it with me and thinking about abrupt endings? Perhaps it’s because my heart was accustomed to sharp cuts like the feeling of a band-aid being ripped off many times without warning. Maybe because that’s all I know. This is not the way to live, I whisper to myself. Or I thought I did. The man on my left gave me a sympathetic look. His screen was on a raunchy scene. I wasn’t even looking. I try to tell him I didn’t judge him, but then I remember people make up their minds about themselves quicker than whatever you say. Kindle guy ignores us and takes out his phone. Probably to check the flight status, I imagine. I looked over, and his screensaver was a nice-looking lady. She looked happy, and that briefly made me aware of my own sadness. I smile in her direction anyway. Raunchy guy gets up to use the restroom. Perfect segue for me to get my hand luggage snack. It’s a Snickers bar and a bottle of water. I’m finished before he gets back. I pretend to be asleep when he does. Then I realised he hadn’t even bothered me. My expectations were ruining my reality. I fake a yawn and go back to skywatching. Not long after, everything stops. We are arriving. I clap when the plane lands.
Follow the channel.
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