October’s Rambling: Why is it so hard to hack consistency?
Earlier last month, one of my best friends in the world introduced her husband-to-be to her family. Personally, I can say I was the most joyous on that day because of how much I love this woman and wish nothing but the absolute best for her. At the same time, I went through different emotions. First, of which is betrayal because really, truly how can it come to this that I’ll have to share my realest dawg with a man? Was this ever part of the memo?
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I got over it quickly though because it was easier to accept than fight that this is my life now. All my closest friends are going to get married to their wonderful partners that will have to contend with me for the rest of their lives and that’s genuinely okay. As I type this, the one I call “my boo” is currently packing her load and will soon follow her man. Is anything even sacred anymore?
I had a bit of a moment before doing this post because I have felt that my last two posts have been quite personally-based and I wasn’t sure I was all the way comfortable with doing more of that. I understand that it may be hard to believe (haha!) but I am an incredibly private person and I have a fear of oversharing because I often overthink. All my social pages are carefully curated content that I am willing to share with the people that I consider close to me on the internet, and nothing else. No agenda, and no ulterior goal.
I like to think my blog is my safest place because more than half the time, I don’t necessarily write for an audience. I tend to write for myself even though I rarely read my own writings because I find them so cringe afterwards. I am a walking contradiction. Yeah, I know. Anyway, I had that moment but then I said to myself that if I don’t write about myself, who else was I going to write about? Considering how I am not trying to be a Linda Ikeji (a renowned gossip/sensational blogger in Nigeria) protégé, it only makes sense that my main topic most of the time would be myself right? that’s what I thought. So here am I again, attempting not to do the most while keeping it authentic in that same breath.
There was nothing queued up for this month’s post. Actually, let me be honest and simply lay it out here that there is never anything queued up because usually at the start of every month, I tell myself “oh chill out! you have 28 days to come up with something 🙄” and then I just push it to the bottom of the pile. By mid-month, I would have started to subtly panic but still tell myself that “this same thing happened last month, but guess who still delivered? You! that’s right. You’ll come up with something, don’t worry 😉”
On very good months, like this one, I enter a full-on battle with my procrastinating side and get started on a good day around the 19th where I often struggle to write anything intelligible but one that I can hopefully edit later with fresher eyes. In some wild months before now, I have literally written a post in under 24 hours to-publish while simultaneously proofreading to make sure that it at least made some sense and sometimes I have been very fortunate. For context, in May, I wrote Waiting the night before publishing and it was one of my most-interacted-with posts because apparently you guys love rushed greatness. I respect it. 💛
This month is my favourite month, for obvious reasons. I am not even trying to be biased right now but deep down in our hearts, I know we all agree October is up there with the greatest months of the year. Top 2 and not number 2, I said what I said . In January, I imagined that I would probably write something super insightful/profound for my birth month as per, it has to be special. Alas, here I am rambling on about nothing and everything. I am an impulsive person, and I know not to trust myself to stick to a pattern because I will definitely switch up last minute.
Random side note but I recently met a man who wouldn’t stop attributing everything I did to “you’re such a typical Libra woman” like this was supposed to mean something to me other than bullshittery? I admire astrology but I am not an astrology babe (meaning my entire personality isn’t to let people only see that truly, I admire astrology). I think it’s one thing the generation after mine doesn’t quite get, and that is it’s okay to be multifaceted and house many interests. You don’t have to tie your identity to one singular thing as if society has not already done enough of that. Also, what does it mean to be entering different eras within the space of one calendar year? An era literally means a long and distinct period of history so what is the ‘soft girl era’ this week and ‘warm babe era’ by the next week even about? 🤯
Anyway, there are so many things I don’t pretend to understand so maybe I just don’t get it. Just like I don’t get skin care fads. Not going to lie, I will probably be coming from a place of privilege on this issue so I am not even going to flex my fingers as I type this. I don’t pay attention to skincare fads because I don’t think I will ever have the luxury to fully tune into them. Okay, maybe I can’t afford many major brands but that’s not even my point (😏) My point is why am I paying attention to Korean skinfluencers so that my face can be clear like theirs? First of all, I will never be Korean so why would I even want to bother with their 20-step routine? Also, a bunch of these aestheticians do not tell you how much genetics and hygiene play a huge role in the grand scheme of things. You’re there hustling for ‘skin like milk’ meanwhile you don’t even wash your face? Before you tune into any fad, I think you should go and wash your face first.
I am clearly not one to give advice regarding what to do or not do about these things because as I’ve stated, I don’t know anything. Asides from daily baths, exfoliating my face when I remember to which is usually like once in four weeks, and cleansing/toning with Garnier’s once every week, I don’t do much else. Maybe that’s why my default look is like that of a sickly child who won’t make it through the winter of 1852. Although late last year, I made an effort and did a bit of research about retinol to see if there were more natural alternatives and that’s how I found Bakuchiol which I apply on my face on some nights (the brand I use packages theirs in ridiculously small containers that would definitely not last if I used them in the mornings. Yeah, I’m praying for myself that I get out of the hood too.)
I’m just realizing I’ve gone on so many different tangents in this post and by now should be nearing the finish line but I don’t even know how to end it. It started off with one thing and now I’ve just rambled on about everything else. Anyway, this is my life and you get to read snippets like these once in a while. I hope you’ve had an enjoyable read? If you haven’t, do leave me a comment and we’ll talk about your general outlook towards the good things in life. Either way, I look forward to seeing you next month!
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